Values first
Find someone with the same values before you see a face
The fastest way to find someone with the same values is to stop guessing from photos and start comparing what you actually believe. Naughty Singles builds your compatibility from short cards about beliefs & values, family & kids and money, among 40 categories, and ranks real people by how well they fit you. Faces come last.
You can also mark the things you won't bend on as non-negotiable. If you marked something that way and, once you've both said enough, someone is far from you on it, that person simply doesn't show up in your top. That's not a filter on who someone is; it's respect for what you both said matters.
Why shared values are invisible on swipe apps
A profile photo can tell you someone likes hiking. It can't tell you how they treat a waiter, whether they want kids, what they think they owe their parents, or how they'd handle money in a tight month. Those are the things that decide whether a relationship lasts, and on apps built around swiping faces, you find them out last.
Bios don't fix it. People write what sounds good (“kind, honest, loyal”), and nobody writes the opposite. So values end up surfacing on the fifth date, or the fifth month, usually in the middle of a disagreement.
The result is a lot of chemistry with people who were never going to share your life. Attraction matters. But when you're looking for someone to build with, it needs a foundation underneath.
What “the same values” actually means
Having the same values doesn't mean agreeing on everything. You can love different music, vote differently on small things and argue happily about pineapple on pizza. What needs to line up are the big, slow-moving parts of a life together.
- Beliefs and principles: what's right and wrong for you, how much you compromise, whether your moral compass changes with the room.
- Family: whether you want kids, how present your family will be, what you'd do for your parents as they age.
- Money: saving or spending, security or experiences, how much of your life goes to work.
- Everyday respect: how you treat people, how you fight, how you apologize.
How Naughty Singles helps you find someone with the same values
Every card is a first-person statement you answer with ME TOO, DON'T CARE or NOT ME. The three answers matter: not caring about something is different from rejecting it for your own life. Each card measures one category, and together your answers build your Match DNA.
The algorithm compares you with others category by category, in both directions. It doesn't average blindly, either. If you line up perfectly on hobbies but sit on opposite ends of family or beliefs, your total drops, because the worst level weighs. That's exactly the protection you want when values are your priority.
Then come the non-negotiables. From time to time, a card lets you mark a topic as non-negotiable or say “I can live with it.” Non-negotiables act as a gate once both people have enough signal: if you marked something non-negotiable and someone is far from you on it, that person won't appear in your top, and their non-negotiables filter their top the same way. We explain it in detail on the page about dating with clear deal breakers.
Cards that go straight to what matters
The first five come from the app. The last one is in the style of the cards.
LIGHTI don't trade my principles to please anyone.
LIGHTMy moral compass doesn't change depending on who I'm with.
LIGHTTaking care of my parents when they're older is non-negotiable.
LIGHTI want a home where there's always room for one more at the table.
LIGHTI'd rather earn less and have time for what matters to me.
LIGHTHow someone treats a waiter tells me everything.
How to find a partner who shares your values: a practical guide
The app does the matching. These steps help you get more out of it, and out of any first date.
- 01
Name your three core values
Not ten. Three. Honesty, family, freedom, faith, growth, whatever is truly yours. If you can't rank them, you'll struggle to recognize them in someone else.
- 02
Separate values from preferences
Wanting kids is a value decision. Liking the beach is a preference. Keep non-negotiables for the first kind; use “I can live with it” generously for the second. Our list of relationship deal breakers can help you sort them.
- 03
Answer the cards as you are, not as you'd like to be
Values-based matching only works with honest answers. If you say ME TOO to everything admirable, you'll match with people you don't actually share much with.
- 04
Watch behavior, not slogans
Everyone claims to value kindness. On a date, notice how they speak about exes, friends and strangers. Consistency is the real signal.
- 05
Bring up the big topics early
Kids, family, money, beliefs. You don't need a full interview, but a light early conversation saves heartbreak. The In Sync chat is a low-pressure place to start.
Values and the kind of relationship you want
If you're looking for something long-term, values are the part that keeps it standing. You choose your intention in the app (relationship, dating, casual or exploring), but that choice doesn't filter matches; the compatibility in values, family and money does the real work. For more on that, see our page on the app for serious relationships. And if you want a quick read on your own priorities first, try the relationship values test.
Frequently asked questions
How do you find someone with the same values?
Start by naming your top three values, then look for ways to compare them early instead of hoping they surface. On Naughty Singles, cards about beliefs, family and money build your compatibility profile, and people who share your priorities rank higher. Non-negotiables add a gate: if you marked something that way and someone is far from you on it, you won't see them in your top.
Is it important for a couple to share values?
Shared values don't guarantee a great relationship, but conflicting core values make one much harder. Couples can thrive with different hobbies and tastes; they struggle when they disagree on kids, family obligations, money or basic principles. That's why it helps to know early, before strong feelings make it harder to see clearly.
What are the most important values in a relationship?
It varies by person, but the topics that shape a life together tend to be honesty, respect, family plans, money habits and how each person handles conflict. The key isn't having a perfect list, it's knowing which ones you won't compromise on. Our guide to relationship deal breakers can help you decide.
Can I filter by religion or beliefs on Naughty Singles?
There's no religion or politics filter. Beliefs and values are measured through first-person cards, like “My moral compass doesn't change depending on who I'm with,” as one of 40 categories. If something about beliefs is essential to you, you can mark it as non-negotiable when a card offers that option.
Can people with different values be happy together?
Sometimes, especially when the differences are in preferences rather than core principles, and when both respect each other's view. Naughty Singles captures that nuance with “I can live with it” and with the difference between DON'T CARE and NOT ME. Not every difference is a clash.
